Not Me, Lord
Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the LORD.” (Jer. 1:6-8)
When the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah he found a good reason not to obey. “I’m too young,” he tells the Lord. Likewise, these days when the word of the Lord comes to me, I find myself saying, “I’m too old.” Never mind that 74 year-old Don Rumsfeld is Secretary of State, or the new CEO of Delta Airlines is 67. When I read the obits these days, I see a lot of guys my age reaching their life’s end. Besides, my beautiful 59 year old wife has died. I was older than she. And her death has put me in a tailspin. And on and on….
In other words there are a lot of good reasons to just drift toward life’s end without much purpose or zeal for the Lord and His Kingdom.
The Lord’s reply to Jeremiah after his logical protest was: “you shall go….you shall speak.” And in turn He promises “I am with you to deliver you.”
There are a lot of reasons to fear the future, particularly as the end of life rushes up toward you like an 18 wheeler driving on the wrong side of the Interstate. For myself I am still struggling with “go where?” and “speak what to whom?” But the most important thing I draw from this passage is “I am with you to deliver you.” I saw that deliverance in the passing of my wife, who was delivered from fear even as she faced death. That fear was replaced by an incredible love that emanated from her even as her days on this planet were winding down to their end. Her appointment from the Lord was not a monumental one like the call of Jeremiah to be a prophet. Rather, it was to be a loving servant of all she encountered, particularly her family members. In that role she fulfilled her God-given appointment perfectly.
In his fanciful work The Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis tells of a imaginary journey taken from Hell to Heaven. At the end of the story he describes the most beautiful sight of all those he experiences in Heaven. It is that of an ordinary “housewife,” who on earth loved all that came under her purview. So glorified was she that everywhere she went a parade of creatures and angelic beings followed her. Whenever I think of Susan I think of this lady in Lewis’s book. I hope someday to be allowed to be a part of her parade. “Come Lord Jesus!”