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We pause to remember the passing of my of my mother, Nelle Frances Flanery Dishman, on this date 2 years ago. She was born in Pottsboro, Texas on Sept. 14, 1903 and died in Richardson, Texas on January 31, 2003, the day before the Columbia Space shuttle accident. Remembrances of her can be found here and here.

The eulogy read at her funeral can be read below.

Nelle Frances Flanery Dishman
September 14, 1903 – January 31, 2003

Written by her son, John Dishman
Delivered at her funeral by her grandson, Peter Dishman

Nelle Dishman, also known to the many who came to love her as “Grandma Tex”, entered into eternal glory at 6:44 AM on January 31, after a very brief illness. Her 99 years of life can be summarized in a single verse from I Tim. 6:6: “godliness with contentment is great gain.” To all who knew her she was the epitome of a godly woman: warm, caring, loving and intensely interested in others, yet willing to share herself even with strangers. She accepted every adversity without complaint, while at the same time eagerly embracing each new opportunity.

One of these opportunities concerned her very own name. Given the name Nell without the “e” on the end by her parents, she decided during her college days at Texas Women’s University to make her name more “elegant” by adding an “e” . While providing the needed sophistication, the name change unfortunately led to confusion throughout her life, with people trying to call her “Nellie”, with the exact opposite of the effect she had intended. Undeterred, she carried the name change one step further, and added an extra “n” to the middle of her last name, Flanery—so as to make it more genuinely Irish. Her father put a stop to this, however, pointing out to Nelle that if she was going to use his check to pay her tuition, she had better spell her name the same way he did! She relented, but took her revenge by majoring in drama and at one point dyeing her hair green! A rare instance of rebellion in the life of one we all knew to be the most agreeable and cooperative of personalities.

Nelle was born on her mother’s 19th birthday, Sept. 14, 1903 in Pottsboro, Texas. Her mother was Sarah Mildred Stiver Flanery, who everyone called “Sally.” Her father was Beverly Moreland Flanery, nicknamed “Chili” after his famous Texas concoctions. Nelle was the oldest of 5 siblings: Jim, Mildred, Marion and David. For most of the family’s life they lived in the small town of Collinsville, about 80 miles north of Dallas in Grayson County. Her father was a railroad man, and later the owner of one of two cotton gins in Collinsville—the other owned by John William Dishman, who was later to become her father-in-law.

After graduating from TWU Nelle returned to teach school in Collinsville. An old photo shows her as a very young looking teacher standing 5 foot tall and towered over by her students, some of whom exceeded 6 feet. Nonetheless, sweet “Miss Nelle” was someone to be reckoned with and the reports of her teaching career suggest that even then her bulldog determination more than compensated for her diminutive stature.

While Nelle was the oldest sibling of her family, her husband-to-be was the next-to-youngest of his. Roy Edward Dishman was a year younger than Nelle, and in effect the only boy in a family of 7 sisters—his older brother having already left home by the time Roy was growing up. The Dishmans and the Flanerys knew each other very well during their days in Collinsville, even though the Dishman sisters were about a half-a-generation older than the Flanerys. The romance between Roy and Nelle had to wait awhile to blossom, and they finally married in their thirties on March 19, 1935, in Dallas, where they continued to live for 8 years.

After the birth of their only child, John, in 1940, Nelle settled down as a full time mother and homemaker true to the tradition of that day and time. In 1943 the family moved to Shreveport when Roy accepted the job of Safety Director for Hunt Oil Company, a job he held until his retirement in 1970. When John graduated high school and entered Georgia Tech in 1958, Nelle and Roy returned to Dallas, to the house on Longmeadow Drive where Nelle lived until only a few weeks ago. At Roy’s death on July 25, 1984, Nelle deeply mourned her husband of 49 years, but with characteristic strength and optimism carried on and quickly adapted to living independently.

Time does not permit us to go into detail about all 10 decades of Nelle’s life. Perusing photographs taken throughout her life we find a beautiful blond in her twenties slowly turning to a middle-aged still-blond women in her sixties transitioning into the ninety-something silver-headed jewel that we all treasure today. Because of her naturally blond hair her husband always called her “Blondie,” after the famous cartoon strip. That blond hair persisted even when she became Grandma Tex upon the birth of her first grandchild. And her aging face became for all who knew her a deep well of sweetness and good humor. We’ll never forget the time the grandsons decided to have an “who can make the scariest face” contest. Each contestant in turn was videotaped trying their best to scare the photographer. When it came to Grandma, that sweet face suddenly turned into a contorted grimace. After a brief shock, we all broke out laughing when we realized that she was the instant winner!

It was after her move back to Dallas that Nelle’s passion for history and genealogy began to take hold under the influence of her sister-in-law Ara. Over the years she became recognized as an expert genealogist, and a fount of knowledge for her many new friends in the field. At the age of 96 she became an avid user of the Internet, which opened to her a vast horizon of new genealogical information. Her family and her friends marveled at the sharpness of her mind up to the very last day of her life. Her memory of details about ancestors and obscure historical points were unmatched, and led to her long tenure as an officer in a number of local genealogical societies. These included the Jane Douglas Chapter of DAR, the Thomas Poe chapter of DAC, the John Cavet chapter of the Daughters of 1812, the Dames of the Court of Honor and the Dallas Genealogical Society.

Raised as a Methodist in Collinsville, Nelle was a long-time member of Lake Highlands Methodist Church. In her nineties she joined Town North Presbyterian Church in Richardson, when, as she put it, “I finally understood the doctrine of predestination after Dave explained it to me.” Her understanding of her faith was as deep as her unrivaled memory, and her love for the Lord was as broad has her exceptionally caring heart.

Nelle is survived by her son John and her daughter-in-law Susan, her grandson Peter, her grandson David and wife Elizabeth, her grandson Mark and wife Angie and their daughters (and her great-granddaughters) Susanna and Lydia. Additionally, she is survived by her niece Beverly and nephew David on her Flanery side, and on the Dishman side by nieces Nannette, Rosemarie, Mary Carolyn, Virginia and Patricia. Grandma was a joy to all of us, and it was especially wonderful to see how she, the oldest member of the family could light up the faces of the youngest two, who seemed intuitively to sense her great love for them, just like the rest of us.

Any friend that Nelle made soon became her close friend. But one friend was more like a sister and a daughter. Her name is Mary Lu McKellar. Mary Lu and her husband Bob were faithful friends that made sure Nelle got to all the meetings of her societies and associations, even as her Eldercare volunteers Steve, Marcie and Lisa watched out for all her practical needs. Here is what Mary Lu had to say after she heard the news of Nelle’s passing:

Dear Precious Friends, Thank you for letting me know about my dearest friend Nelle. In trying to reach her literally hundreds of friends everywhere, I have been met with such an outpouring of love for her from everywhere. Surely she was one of God’s precious angels on this earth and I can never express how much she meant to me. Her loss in the lives of all of us will never be replaced. She was unique in her outpouring of love on everyone who crossed her path. I never heard her speak ill of anyone, only good. She could see God in each person she met. Nothing will ever fill the empty place for her in my heart. …. She was ageless, everyone’s contemporary and we hoped she would live forever. She is in the house of the Lord forever. Dearest love, Mary Lu

Mary Lu has said it perfectly for all of us. Mary Lu also commented on how much Nelle loved Susan, her daughter-in-law who became like the daughter she never had. Each cared for and loved one another so much that it became a beautiful model for our family. It’s been hard for us to have Grandma gone while Susan lies so seriously ill in the hospital. Yet, we know that we have been blessed beyond measure with being bound to these two women—born almost exactly 40 years apart—who truly exhibit what it means to love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength and their neighbors as themselves. Even now, our beloved mother, grandmother, aunt and friend is hearing those words which are the sweetest of all words from the lips of her Savior: “well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord!”