Daddies & Daughters
Saturday, April 9th, 2005
Throughout my days at Bell Labs there were many occasions when I would be required to go out of town for business. Inevitably, I would call home each night to see how things were going back there during my absence. One of these calls home particularly stands out in my mind. The dialogue between Susan and myself went something like this:
Me: How are things going?
She: Well, I’m having a problem with Mark.
Me: What’s the problem?
She: Whenever I tell him to do something he says: “You’re not the boss of me. Dad is.”
Me: Put him on the line.
Mark: Hi Dad.
Me: Hi Mark. I understand you’re telling mom that she’s not the boss of you.
Mark: [proudly] That’s right Dad. You’re the boss of me, not Mom.
Me: Uh, Mark. I need to tell you something. Actually, you see, when I’m gone, Mom IS the boss of you.
Mark: She is?
Me: That’s right son. She’s the boss of you, and you need to do what she says. OK?
Mark: OK Dad, if that’s what you say.
After times like this you often wonder how your child will handle situations like this when they grow up and become parents of their own. This week, I had that unique experience of grandparenting in which I could observe up close and personal my grown up son as a parent operating under fire: the crisis of Lydia’s major surgery and recovery. What I discovered was what I had already noted: my son is the perfect father for my granddaughters. The Lord knew what He was doing my not giving me daughters: they would have found me to be a complete pushover–just as my granddaughters have already quickly discovered. But Mark combines that perfect blend of sensitivity and compassion with just the right smattering of discipline and strength so his daughters are nurtured without becoming overly soft. And in everything he does he brings them back to a central underlying principle: the loving Lord is in control and He will bring you through this. You just need listen to and obey His word.
Kevin was with me as we stopped by Lydia’s hospital room yesterday. As we were leaving she looked at Mark and said, “You are an incredible father!” As we walked down the hall I said, “You are right on the money about that, and he learned it all from his mother, even when she wasn’t the boss of him.”